2012.04.29 growing pains 成长的烦恼 -写给Mia

6 05 2012

刚去CVS回来,这几天Mia长牙,闹腾的厉害,昨天到今天都在断断续续地哭,把手指放在嘴里,一边哭一边咬自己的手指,“呀呀”地叫,眼里还噙着泪,放佛在告诉我们“牙牙疼”。做父母的看在眼里,疼在心里,可是一点忙也帮不上。今天还持续低烧,虽然医生说teething的时候发烧很正常,心里还是不放心,去买了退烧药备着。下午从药店一出来,妈妈就迫不及待地要在车上给Mia先喂一次。看着你妈因着急而眉心紧锁的样子,让人心疼。

Mia,不知道你什么时候才会长大,也不知道你是否能看到这些文字。只是想告诉你,你正在经历的teething pain爸爸以前也经历过(只是我忘记了),而且除了teething pain,你还要经历很多其他的疼。你马上学会走路,走路会摔跤,会跌跟头,撞到桌脚(就像你妈现在还经常发生),摔到地板上;等你再长大一些,你要上学,学习很多新知识,认识很多小朋友,你会发现你可能不总是爸妈口中的那个No. 1,你会因为别的小朋友比你优秀而嫉妒,而伤心,你可能会因为某些小朋友不愿意跟你分享玩具而难过;等你再长大些,你还会谈恋爱,你也会像爸爸当年一样喜欢异性,也可能会因此伤心落泪,也可能像爸爸一样要经历很多次这样的伤心之后才找到最终跟你一辈子相守幸福的人;你会念书,会上学,然后工作,嫁人,你也会跟爸爸一样面临着工作的压力,要面对自己以前从来没有处理过的人际关系;你是女孩子,你还要忍受女孩子必须忍受的每月一痛,你还可能会像妈妈一样结婚生子,还要忍受分娩之痛;甚至,有一天你生命中最重要的亲人离你而去⋯⋯
不是每个痛都可以通过吃泰诺来缓解的。比起生命中你将要经历的那些痛,teething的痛也许根本不值一提。来到这个世上,注定要面对这些生命之痛。我们之于你,打从我见到你第一眼开始,我就觉得这是一种缘分——你投胎到我们家,我和你妈有幸跟你一起分享一段人生,我们一定会好好爱你,尽我所能,让你、也让我们自己不空走这一程;因此,我也愿意分享给你我成长的一些东西,包括那些用痛换来的经验。
伢子,你知道我们有多爱你吗?
Advertisements




42 things that change when you have a baby

21 09 2011

What changes when you have a baby? A better question may be: What doesn’t change? Here, writer and mom Rebecca Woolf lists her most notable post-baby observations. Then scroll down to read our favorite comments from readers about how their babies changed their lives.

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid. [See a reader’s perspective in #22, below.]

3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

4. You respect your body … finally.

5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.

6. You find that your baby’s pain feels much worse than your own.

7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.

8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.

9. Your heart breaks much more easily.

10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

11. Every day is a surprise.

12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

14. You become a morning person.

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.
Read the rest of this entry »





一周亲子记(3month,4weeks)

17 09 2011

1。 产后3个月新妈妈开始掉头发--属于正常现象!跟荷尔蒙水平回落有关。
Normally, you lose about 100 to 125 hairs a day, but after delivery, you may be losing about 500 a day. This can be very disturbing, but try not to worry too much — you won’t go bald!

2。小孩每天自己玩一会儿-- 这对小孩发育、培养自信和自我依靠的能力都很重要。不要爱子心切而忽视这个。但是也要在安全的环境里培养。
Solo play isn’t only okay, it’s a must! While the time you spend playing with your baby is central to her development (and for many parents, among the day’s highlights), her ability to play independently — even for a few minutes at a time — is also important. It builds self-reliance and confidence, skills that will be valuable to your baby throughout her life.

3。 宝宝睡觉的问题,半夜醒来的问题。 小孩在3个月的时候已经开始睡通宵(例如6-8小时)属于正常。帮助小孩尽快建立完整睡眠的方法之一就是培养小孩每天按时上床睡觉。
By now, most babies are physically capable of making it through the night without a feeding. Some have already begun to sleep for a long stretch of time (six to eight hours) at night.You can encourage this goal by building a predictable, positive bedtime routine, which starts with putting your baby to bed at the same time every night. One of the hardest challenges parents face is whether to let their baby “cry it out” or not at bedtime or after nighttime wake-ups. Ferber’s method (also called “progressive waiting”) involves waiting for longer and longer periods each night before going in to pat and comfort your baby.





5 steps to a healthy connection with your baby

9 09 2011

Editors’ note: This content is provided by Early Moments Matter, a campaign dedicated to making sure every child has the best possible chance at emotional well-being. Find out how to receive the Early Moments Matter tool kit and provide one to a family in need.

Step 1

Understand your child’s cues and style of communication
第一步:明白宝宝的沟通信号和沟通方式

Each baby has her own way of expressing herself, but many cues are universal. Rooting and sucking actions usually signal that it’s time for nursing, feeding, or comfort­ing with something to suck on. An arched back signals overstimulation or discomfort. A frown may mean the light is too bright or that your child is worried.
Crying is one of those cues that can mean many things – and when the baby is screaming at the top of her lungs, it can be very frustrating. If you can stay calm, it’s helpful to go through your checklist of what the child might be trying to tell you – “I’m tired,” “Change my diaper,” “Feed me,” “I don’t feel well, Mommy.”
每个宝宝都有它特有的表达方式,但是也不乏一些共同的信号。譬如,吮吸动作(rooting怎么翻译?)通常就是表明肚子饿了,该喂奶了,或者需要给个奶嘴安抚一下了;背拱起来通常表明刺激过头了,不舒服了;皱眉头或许表明灯光太亮。啼哭通常说明很多问题。如果宝宝发出撕心裂肺的声音,多半表明它非常难受(废话)。这个时候如果你能耐下心来,一项项检查宝宝可能的需求,譬如,是不是累了啊,尿布该换了啊,饿了了,或者“妈妈,我不舒服了”等等,那是最好不过了。

Step 2

Create a foundation of security and trust with your baby
和孩子之间建立安全感和信任感

As you learn to read and respond to cues, and your baby begins to trust that her most basic needs will be met and that the sur­roundings are safe – essential for healthy attachment – you can help your child discover how to adapt to changes in the environment through self-regulation and self-soothing. These behaviors start developing in the womb and are especially evident in the first month after birth. Both are important skills in creating a foundation for security and trust.
随着你逐渐读懂宝宝的暗示,你的宝宝便开始产生一种信任感:它觉得它的大多数基本需求将被满足,并且对于周围的环境感到安全,尤其是健康方面的。你还可以帮助它发现如何通过自身的调节和自我安慰去适应环境的变化。这些行为自娘胎就开始了,在出生后头一个月尤其明显。建立一个安全感和信任感的基础是一个非常重要的技巧。

Step 3

Provide consistent and responsive parenting
提供持续并且及时的关爱

Each interaction with your baby is an opportunity for attachment. Al­though no parent makes a connec­tion every time, the goal is to create a consistent pattern.

Parents who accept and validate their child’s emotional communica­tions send a powerful message: “Your feelings matter, you will be taken care of, and you have a trustworthy and secure base from which to explore.” One way to validate a child’s emotions is by verbally acknowledging the discom­fort, stimulation, or whatever the child is feeling. Again, it doesn’t matter that your child can’t understand your words – she senses your intention.
跟孩子的每一次接触都是建立联系的机会。尽管没有父母每次都可以建立联系,但是我们的目标是给孩子一个持续不断的感觉。

Step 4

Connect with your child through touch, physical comfort, laughter, and play

Some parents fear they might be spoiling their babies by constantly holding and carrying them. But because an infant’s brain and body systems are so immature at birth, a newborn has no capacity for in­dependence and needs your loving touch and support. Studies over the last several decades show substan­tial lifelong advantages in physical, mental, social, and emotional health for children who receive consistent, warm, positive attention and care that’s appropriate for their develop­mental stage.
Step 5

Care for yourself and for your own emotional well-being

With all the focus on reading your baby and responding to her, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs. But they are just as important! As a new mother, you may feel like your body’s been through an earthquake, and it’s essential that you take care of it – eating well, getting outside, and walking and resting as much as you can.

For both parents, stress, exhaustion, irritability, and the desire to withdraw from your partner – even the world – are typical. Postpartum depression, anxiety, and other mood changes are also very common. All these changes can have a significant impact on your baby’s ability to develop healthy attachment.





:)

15 07 2011

恭喜Mia Dong小朋友进入人生第8周了!





午后

18 06 2011

周末的午后,孩子跟外婆睡了,可以独自坐在窗前看看外面望不到头的树林,一片安静。

好久不来自己blog了,自从被迫搬到wordpress之后,也些许自从结婚之后,生活里没有以前那些多愁善感,那些飘忽不定。刚刚因为要更改一篇日志,顺便看了一下自己以前写的那些牢骚话,很多都是儿女情长的东西,自己一个人花时间发酵而成的,酸酸的,也有些甜(因为记录着自己的生活),像米酒。

其实自己最近发生了很多事情,只是懒于动笔。人还是应该向前看,像刚刚看完老罗的视频(youku|YouTube),讲他创业2年来的一些感想收获,我每每都看得心有兮兮焉——创业又何尝不是我心中的一个梦?很赞同老罗说的,“我从来都不觉得我有多么勇敢,我只是有一点点勇敢。在普遍怂货的局面下你就显得非常勇敢。就好像你生理上只是正常,但在一群阳痿面前,你就是一个猛男。”很多时候人缺少的就是那么一点点勇气,敢于做自己,敢于去尝试,然后你就显得非常勇敢。像王琦,敢于放下PhD一年去做旅行,我相信他有一天能走到那个岛的(抱歉我总是记不住名字OK, I could finally remind myself — it’s Madagascar)。30岁怎么啦?结婚有孩子又怎么啦?人要怂永远都会怂,人要敢于改变自己永远都有机会改变自己。也借机祝福Akhil,虽然你看不到这些文字(看到也看不懂),祝福你继续走下去,等我稍有心情的时候给你回信。

此时阳光是很好,半山风景,可是我还是期待一些改变。

btw,分享一下给女儿做的一个网站:http://miadong.shutterfly.com